what I can help with - adjusting to parenthood

The transition to becoming a parent is huge, whether it’s from none to one, one to two, two to three and so on. Society and social media lead us to believe that the only possible emotional experience we could have in becoming a parent is happiness. 

I’m not sure this is the true experience of any parents, and that is because parenting is extremely hard. I find it exhausting, overwhelming and extremely challenging at times. And the problem with not enjoying every moment of parenting, in a world that makes you believe you should, is you then have a second flood of emotions; guilt, shame and not feeling good enough as a parent. 

Comments like “enjoy every moment” and “they’ll only be this small once” can put huge amounts of pressure on parents but, the reality is, you cannot enjoy every minute. Who is going to enjoy a baby crying all night, or pooing all over their clothes for the fourth time that day, it just does not make sense. 

I want to tell you it is okay. It is okay if you do not love the newborn phase, or the crawling phase, and so on. It is okay if you feel trapped as a parent at times, and you want time to yourself. It is okay if you feel frustrated, angry, and resentful at times. This is all totally understandable. Using Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), alongside other approaches, I am committed to helping parents understand their feelings towards parenting, to take time, and to be kind and compassionate towards themselves during this immensely intense time. 

After all, beating yourself up for feeling the way you do only serves to make you feel worse. I want to help you recognise that self-blame and self-criticism does not help, and to support you to find new ways to treat yourself, so you can move towards better well-being.